Recently, I joined a theater ensemble that puts on monthly performances. I thought it would be a simple, great outlet for some of my creative energy, something that would quench that thirst for stage time and “look at ME!” time. One song a month to learn mostly on my own with limited directed rehearsal. Sounds perfect for a busy working woman such as myself.

Wrong! Okay, wrong is the wrong word. The experience has been overwhelmingly positive. What I’ve found is how uncomfortable I am with these singular songs, mean to be experienced and acted as a stand-alone performance. This requires concentration, consciousness of every movement BUT not looking like you’re concentrating and conscious of every movement. It requires an awareness level that should only be needed by air traffic controllers and people handling radioactive materials. My first performance was a fun song; the singing was okay but I realized that my acting “go to move” is bobbing my head to each side. Not even award winning head bobs. More like a chicken walking like an egyptian. Presenting Bob and his friend Weave.

We had already finished our 2nd performance before I saw the video from the egyptian chicken show. Luckily, my head naturally corrected itself somewhat. The problem during the second show was my one facial emotion which appeared to be me kind of pursing my lips to one side, in thoughtful reflection and admiration. It looked ridonkulous.

I realize I’m hyper-critical but I’m also about self-reflection and improvement. My goal is now consciously working on these challenges during my daily activities; During a meeting today, I realized as an indication of listening and understanding, I go to the tilt/bob move. My goal then was to keep my head upright for the rest of the day. No one cares if the puzzled chicken understands, right?

So let’s call it baby steps—2012 we’ll work on twisted lips of admiration.