You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2011.
New Years Eve naturally brings about personal reflection. The reality is that from December 31st to January 1st is just a day like any other day, but we need that idea of the ending and a new beginning apparently every 365 days or so. I guess most of you are familiar with how years work. It’s the end of tax deductions and the beginning of a new set of copays.
And there were a lot of copays this year, but I refuse to define my year around the various illnesses and accidents of the Fine kids (they have my graceful skills, plus a skateboard). 2011 passed with many hours in waiting rooms—I’m hoping the insurance company will issue me a Disney style “Speedpass” for the emergency room. We spent so much time in the emergency room, one of my sons picked up an infection from said emergency room and the infection in his leg put him in the hospital for 2 days. I know, it seems like some kind of infectious disease money scam, right?
And my mother still has Alzheimer’s disease.
So 2011 definitely wasn’t all roses.
But wow, there definitely were roses.
Quite a few of them actually. 2011 will go down in history (at least my history) as one of the best ever. 2011 was the Year of the Friend. I know, that sounds cheesy and corny but who doesn’t like cheese? Or corn? Mmmmmm….cheese grits……sorry, I got distracted there. A brand new friend introduced me to his cheese grits this fall (does that sound dirty) and so he’s one of the reasons 2011 rocked as Year of the Friend. He’s also an adorable, hilarious very talented young man. The cheese grits are a bonus.
During the spring I re-discovered a couple of my passions and was truly blessed to get to sing, act and play the guitar in local theater production. The best part of the whole experience was the other terrific people in the show. Theater tends to draw the funnest, funniest, raunchiest and most tender hearted people to it, and it was a blast. I am having trouble putting into words what an amazing experience it was, but I love every member of that cast and just this evening got together with many of them to celebrate New Years Eve eve. Rejoining theater basically has given me a whole cast of friends over the last six years, and I’ve got my next several weekends booked with soirees they are throwing. Yippee!! Friends are great!
The fall is full of football in this midwestern college town and my family finally learned how to tailgate properly. We hosted many fun Saturday events and I reconnected with old college friends, those wonderful people you might not see for 10 years but you pick right up as if it was just a day before. I have roommates, bridesmaids and more who live within a short distance of my house but we’d never found a way to get together on a regular basis. The tailgates did that for us, and also gave my kids some insight into who I might really be under all this “momness”. The friends remarked that they enjoyed meeting and getting to know my family, and getting to see some of the “momness.” We’ve already made plans for the 2012 football season and road trips with 2 of those sorority sisters to away games. Friends are the best! (Again, cheesy but we all love cheese, right?)
In the original Muppet Movie, Gonzo sings a song with the lyrics”there’s not a word yet, for old friends who’ve just met.” If there was a word, I’d use it to describe one or two special new friends —those magical friends I felt I shared a history with, even before we’d met, from different backgrounds, ages, places. So different and yet, all so the same. Talented young people who see the light in others but need others to see it in them. We’re all kind of broken, but we’re okay with it, at least together. Friends are sooo special. (Be kind to the cheese.)
And I will give credit to my friend with benefits, my husband. Some of this theater friend socializing pushed him outside of his redneckish comfort zone and he completely ran with it. He encouraged me to try the new show, and get involved. I realize his motives are usually driven by “get her the hell out of the house” but still, it’s nice to be supported. He also cooked at all the tailgates, and therefore, greatly increased our chances for successful partydom. :)
Now, I know all this friendly friend wonderfulness sounds easy but it wasn’t. Meeting new people can be awkward and awful; suddenly we’re in 7th grade and what if the cool kids don’t like me and ohmygod, I do have something in my teeth? I can trace all those wonderful new theater=type friends to one chance I took 6 1/2 years ago to try out for a show after not doing theater for 15 years. Such a scary afternoon that I definitely wasn’t going to try out for most of the day and then figured, “whats the worst that could happen?” I never thought the best would happen—one of my very best friends is the person who cast me in that first show.
We avoid old friends because “it’s been too many years, we’re too different now, blah blah blah” but then when you actually take the little chance, (meet them for lunch, drop by the tailgate) you discover they’re the same people, just with kids, spouses and houses. The person deep inside that we were attracted to in the first place never really changes. A friend from college and I decided we’ve traded lives somewhat. Her 30s were a time for her to finally let loose (a little) and have some fun after being a grownup since the age of 3, and I tried to become more like she was in college, responsible, responsible and responsible. Those traits were never what made us friends in the first place—I always liked her dry wit, which was there in her 20s, 30s and beyond I’m sure.
That’s my challenge to you—in 2012, make some new friends. Rediscover the hobbies you are passionate about and then find other people who have that same passion.
Make some old friends. Call 1 person to go out for lunch in the next month, someone you haven’t talked to in years but you live in the same town. Do it, I promise you won’t regret it. And if you do regret it, it’s only lunch. :)
Merriam Webster online defines Auld Lang Syne as “the good old times”. I hope you had a great 2011 and here’s to all the the good old times to make in 2012!!!
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne.
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.
Recently, I joined a theater ensemble that puts on monthly performances. I thought it would be a simple, great outlet for some of my creative energy, something that would quench that thirst for stage time and “look at ME!” time. One song a month to learn mostly on my own with limited directed rehearsal. Sounds perfect for a busy working woman such as myself.
Wrong! Okay, wrong is the wrong word. The experience has been overwhelmingly positive. What I’ve found is how uncomfortable I am with these singular songs, mean to be experienced and acted as a stand-alone performance. This requires concentration, consciousness of every movement BUT not looking like you’re concentrating and conscious of every movement. It requires an awareness level that should only be needed by air traffic controllers and people handling radioactive materials. My first performance was a fun song; the singing was okay but I realized that my acting “go to move” is bobbing my head to each side. Not even award winning head bobs. More like a chicken walking like an egyptian. Presenting Bob and his friend Weave.
We had already finished our 2nd performance before I saw the video from the egyptian chicken show. Luckily, my head naturally corrected itself somewhat. The problem during the second show was my one facial emotion which appeared to be me kind of pursing my lips to one side, in thoughtful reflection and admiration. It looked ridonkulous.
I realize I’m hyper-critical but I’m also about self-reflection and improvement. My goal is now consciously working on these challenges during my daily activities; During a meeting today, I realized as an indication of listening and understanding, I go to the tilt/bob move. My goal then was to keep my head upright for the rest of the day. No one cares if the puzzled chicken understands, right?
So let’s call it baby steps—2012 we’ll work on twisted lips of admiration.
This famous line from Hamlet gets over-quoted in classrooms, bar rooms and living rooms by regular people. When life gets complicated, overwhelming, depressing, there is only one question: to be or not to be.
To simply be—well, it sounds like a major undershoot. I shouldn’t want to be, I’d rather exude, slather, entice, ride the wild winds while drinking in the mad experiences the world gives. Right?
Cut to reality–the wild winds sound scary, would probably stir up a bunch of dust and start a sneezing fit, and we all know drinking and riding wild winds is never recommended.
And, occasionally there are days/weeks/months, when just being feels impossible, and if left to my own devices, I would–
- be on the couch
- be under a blanket
- be hiding from the world
- be on a couch under a blanket hiding from the world
We make our own way in life. Certainly we do not “control” everything–chances and random events are what drives our lives, but more often than not, we drive ourselves to those chances. At that particular chance random moment in time, we have traveled a journey of twists and turns to put ourselves in that exact moment.
I think Hamlet could have benefited from a little Yoda philosophy.
Do or do not.
or as the All-American Rejects said
Move along, move along.
or in the words of Dory (Finding Nemo)
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.
So today is more of a pep talk to myself and to all the other kind of exhausted types out there—
Carpe Diem? Meh. Today I’ll just be. Tomorrow I’ll Carpe. :)
